The Man Blender: What Falling In Love Taught Me About Creating A Dream Career
Meeting the love of my life has taught me a lot about multidimensional creation. Before meeting Talat, it was all the same story: I would meet a guy who had some of the qualities that I was looking for, but ultimately, was missing something pretty essential. He’d be a great lover but would be amiss in the calling-me-back department. He’d be a total genius but also kind of an asshole. Or he’d be sweet as a lamb, but I couldn’t stand the way he kissed. It felt like I was eating a cake that had some of the ingredients—maybe the flour and the sugar and the icing, but was missing the binder that would hold it together, or the baking powder that would make it rise, or the cocoa that actually made it taste like a real cake. I realize now that it wasn’t anything particularly wrong with these men (apart from their being incomplete cakes!), but that I was going about it in a way that wouldn’t allow my dream partner in. Instead of trusting that the rendezvous was waiting for me around the bend, I was trying to make my dream partner happen. I was dabbling, instead of Going All the Way.
I know this all sounds very esoteric and intangible when you’re in the business of, say, finding your lover or creating your dream career, but hear me out: when we’re in the state of trying really hard to make anything happen, whatever it is, that thing we are looking for stays in a perpetual state of future tense. We are in the asking, or trying, or wishing or chasing mode, not in the mode of receptivity, or letting it in. Your dream lover could be riding the bus with you every day, but you’re too busy worrying that he won’t come, or that all men just might be assholes, or obsessively checking your OKCupid app, to realize the perfection of this person sitting right across from you.
Now, I don’t want you to think that there’s anything wrong with you if you resonate with any or all of the above: there’s nothing wrong with being in a state of not letting something in, because really, you’re just gathering more information about what you really do want. Every time you make out with somebody with bad breath, somebody whose mouth tastes like rose petals goes into your dream reality. Every time you let one of those playas trick you into the same old game of bed-and-abandon, you let the Universe know that you want somebody who respects the shit out of you. Every time you meet somebody who is really nice (meh…) but not a whole lot else, you ask for somebody who you can bring home to Mom and likes his life a little spicy. Throughout all of your relationship explorations, you are perfecting your definition of perfect, and the Universe is receiving all of it. It’s your job to decide when you kick back and just trust, let go, and let in.
I bring the subject of relationships into the discussion of creating a “dream career” because it’s easier, in some ways, to imagine the Universe delivering us a mate we desire, than delivering us a career we desire. The idea of “soul mate” lingers in our collective consciousness, while the idea of “soul job” sounds ludicrous, to most of us. While many of us can envision a magical fairy guiding us in the direction of our dream lover, we are all carrying around so much rhetorical baggage about what it means to be successful in our work. Strive. Stress. Struggle. Determination. Nose to the Grindstone. Push. Blah. Blah. Blah. Even with as much as I know, I find these thought forms waft in when I am in the middle of a creative activity, and if I buy into them, they are like a machete to my flow. But no matter: I always regroup, with new information, and more willingness to allow my creativity to flow, instead of forcing it.
As Talat is the perfectly balanced concoction of all of the relationship desires I have accumulated to this point in my life thus far (I like to call this the “man blender”), I am starting to see the ingredients of my “soul job” swirling together in a creation that is ever- evolving, and divinely delicious. As above, so below. As with the relationship, so with the job.
I just have to keep following my own advice: trust, let go, and let in.